Saving Dean's Humanity and Saving Castiel's Grace
by Blueworld13
Summary: Dean became a demon from receiving the Mark of Cain. Sam and Castiel are determined to reverse Dean back to being human before he totally loses his humanity. This story is my depiction of how it would happen and at what cost to end Season 10.
1. Saving Dean & Cas's Grace

_I wrote this story today. There is a gathering of fans that were upset with the Season 9 finale. I myself was surprised and kind of angry to have Dean end up as a demon. I had an inspiring moment to write this below so happy reading. _

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Dean turned feral after he killed Metatron. He was in full fighting stance panting and scanning the room with his dark eyes. Sam approached his brother with caution. He carefully placed his hand on Dean's arm that's not holding the knife. "It's over Dean you killed him. We need to do the demon cure to get you back to normal."

Crowley stood there waiting. "Come Dean we have things to do. Leave these two here." He noticed the looks of determination from Sam and Castiel.

Dean gritted his teeth. "I am normal. This is who I am and you are not going to change me so get out of my way Sam." He shrugged Sam's hand off his arm.

Sam attempted to stealth-fully place the demon bounding cuffs on his brother left wrist.

Dean realized what Sam was trying to do and instinctively swung the first blade. He sliced Sam on the arm with a growl. Sam stepped back quickly feeling stunned that his brother cut him. He placed his hand on the bleeding wound. Dean walked toward him with a dark look in his eyes.

Sam walked backwards. "Dean it's me. It's Sam. Stop this. It's getting out of control."

As soon as Dean was directly in front of him, he swung the jaw bone upward to fatally strike Sam. Castiel instantly appeared in front of Dean. The blade sunk into Cas's abdomen and light was appearing from the open wound. Dean's black eyes widen in shock and dismay that he stabbed Castiel. "Cas?" he mumbled. "Cas!" He was about to pull the blade out of him. Cas held his hand in place and used his other hand to place it on the mark of Cane. Dean felt a searing pain in his forearm and looked down. The mark was fading away and he saw a glow under the opposite arm appearing on Castiel's Coat sleeve. "I will release you from this burden. It will die with me." Castiel gruffly said as his legs started to get weak.

Dean looked grief stricken. "Cas." his voice sounded hollow. Dean's eyes gradually changed from coal blackness to bloodshot green. Sam held up Cas by the shoulders as he slowly lowered him down. Dean scooted in front of him and held the angel close. "I am so sorry Cas." He knew he had a few seconds left with him.

Cas smiled with his eye half opened. "Live a good life my friend." He glanced at Sam "Both of you." The lights glowed in Cas's eye sockets burned out and he fell limp.

Crowley stood there surprised by the whole scene. He realized it was his cue to leave. Quietly, he disappeared.

Dean yelled. "No!" He gently set his friend down to the ground. Tears were burning his eyes. Remembering what Cas said long ago, Dean ran over to Metatron's body and fished around in his pockets to look for the vial. He could not find anything and pulled on the dead angel's shirt collar and saw a gold necklace with a small vial that had glowing liquid. Yanking the necklace off the angel's neck, Dean ran over to Cas. "I can save you buddy hold on." Sam walked over to stop Dean from opening the vial. "Dean, Cas is gone. It's too late."

Dean shrugs Sam's hand off his shoulders. "No it's not too late I have Cas's grace. We can pour it in him and he will come back. I know he will."

They heard the sound of wings and Joshua appeared. "I am afraid it will not work Dean." He sadly said to the brothers. The dark skinned older man wearing a gardener's uniform walked over and held out his hand. "Give me Castiel's grace Dean."

"I am going to smash the vial and he will come back." Dean was poised to throw the vial to the floor.

Joshua held out his hand. "Dean the vessel is too damage to accept Castiel's grace. Please hand it to me."

Dean looked at Joshua with sadness and rage. "Hell no! This is all I have of him."

Joshua spoke softly. "I can't let you keep Castiel's grace. It can be very dangerous if is handled wrong. God ordered me to retrieve it."

"Oh great! Dear old dad wants to take Cas's grace. If it was so important why didn't he prevent all this crap. At what cost huh? For entertainment? Playing everyone like we are an ant farm? Well he can go pound sand. I aint giving it to him." Dean held on to the vial with a death grip.

Joshua sighed. "If you don't give it to me it will disappear from your hand anyway. He will not permit a human to hold on to an angel's grace. Please Dean. Hand it over."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut feeling the tears run down his cheeks. He handed over the grace to Joshua. Sam stepped to Dean and put an arm around Dean's slumped shoulders. "I failed him again Sammy." Dean sobbed. "I killed him and how am I going to live with this?"

Sam held Dean tightly while his older brother's body shook with grief. He turned his head to Joshua. "Get us out of here please."

Joshua nodded his head. "I am so sorry guys." The brothers were back in the warehouse where they entered an hour before the last battle started. Sam steered Dean outside and placed him in the passenger side of the car. Sam got in and turned to see Dean leaning his head at the window. Sam wiped a tear off his face and turned on the car engine.

When they arrived at the bunker, Dean dragged himself into his room. He sat on the bed thinking about the whole event. The uncontrolled rage, the darkness inside him and the need to kill and everything that followed afterward. He rubbed his hands over his face feeling total loss of his close friend that was there for him and Sam. He cared for Cas more than all the friends that made over the course of his life. Dean wondered how was going to be able to live day by day knowing he was the one responsible for killing Cas. All the hunting in the world will not rectify what he did. He thought of Sammy and felt relieved that his brother came out of this alive. He almost killed his own brother and his stomach turned thinking he went out of control with the first blade. If he killed Sam he would have killed himself afterwards. Dean would not have cared if he was sent to hell if he had his brother blood on his hands. He felt the same way about Cas.

Dean heard a light knock and Sam opened the door. "Are you ok Dean? Do you need me to get you anything?"

Dean walked quickly to his brother and pulled him a tight embrace. "Sammy if I have killed you I would not be standing here now. I would have taken myself out."

"It's alright bro. I understand more than you know. Remember the demon blood? I felt the same animistic rage to kill. I felt powerful drinking drinking the blood. I knew if I did not stop I would end destroying myself." He pat his brother on the back. "Dean try to get some rest and I will come back later." Sam directed his brother to the bed.

Dean sat down. "Ok. I really feel like worthless crap right now. Cas... "Dean gulped not able to say another word.

Sam walked to the doorway. "I know but lie down and try to sleep."

Dean lay down and stared at the ceiling. He was afraid if he went to sleep the whole day will replay in his head as a nightmare. He looked as the ceiling for a long time before his eyes finally shut in sleep.

Dean woke up to the sound of crickets and birds chirping. He raised his hand to his face feeling something brushing against his cheek. The feeling of the object was not familiar he quickly sat up and saw he was sitting in a field what looked like green field grass that was a foot high. The blue sky stretched out endless with large cumulus clouds lazily gliding by. He shield his eyes with his right and looked around wondering if this is a dream or where the hell he was. Twenty feet away from him was a pond which looks like golden wavy flecks from the sun shining down and someone standing by the water.

It was a woman with long wavy dark gleaming hair blowing in the wind wearing a cream color sundress. The sun was also shining down on her; almost making her slightly fair skin glow. He can see a faint outline of her cheek as she was peering at the water. "Dean" she said in a familiar slightly gruff voice turning head slightly toward the man lying in the tall grass. Dean squinted his eyes as he stood up and walked over to the slender woman. She turned around to face the man walking toward her. Dean stopped in mid-stride with his face in stunned surprise. The woman eyes were cobalt blue like someone he knew very well. She had very similar features but the only difference is the face is very feminine in contrast to the his angel friend in his old tan trench-coat. "Cas?" Dean whispered.

She walked toward dean with a smile on her face. "Dean." her voice having the same undertone as the old Cas except it sounded husky and warm.

Dean closed his eyes hoping this was not a dream. When he opened them woman stood before him and grasped Dean's shoulders. Feeling delicate hands touching him acknowledged he was not dreaming. He instantly drew the new Cas into a tight hug. "Cas! I thought I killed you." Dean breathy said feeling joy and relief. "What happened?"

Cas chuckled. "You gave Joshua my grace. I recalled you giving him a hard time about it."

Dean looked surprised "How do you know?"

Cas smiled and pat Dean on the arm. "I was in the vial so I was still aware what was going on. Joshua was instructed to find another vessel in Jimmy Novak's bloodline that can accept my grace. Jimmy had a cousin named Kathie that was terminally ill with cancer. Joshua asked her permission to release her to heaven and place me into her body. The poor woman was in so much pain and suffering from her illness she did not hesitate to comply."

Dean hugged Cas again. "I am so glad that you are alive." There was a breeze and soft tendrils of the Cas's hair brushed across Dean's face. He felt warmth in his chest that felt like his heart was coming to life. Like a dead seed blossoming to a flower inside himself. Feeling very aware he was holding a soft warm body a woman he gently pushed her back. He looked directly in those cobalt blue eyes. "Cas you really got a pretty vessel." Realizing what he said he backed way blushing.

Cas stood there blushing too. "Thank you Dean. I was pretty surprised when I looked in the mirror after Joshua placed me in her."

Dean could not stop staring at her. It was hard to believe he will not see the awkward guy in the trench-coat anymore. Cas presence still felt the same. Dean looked around. "Where are we?"

Cas smiled "We are in West Germany in the countryside. Are you ready to go?"

Dean wanted to say not yet and keep this moment being with his friend all to himself.

Eventually Cas zapped them back to the bunker. They stood in the library watching Sam scrambling to put on his jacket and grabbing his keys. "Dean!" Sam looked over at his older brother. "Where the hell were you? I was worried you went off and killed yourself." Sam was spewing off his anger. Then he was about to say more until he noticed a woman standing next to Dean. His eyes widen in surprised as he saw familiar features of the face before him. "Cas?"

"Yes Sam. It's me." She stood there smiling.

"Oh man I am so glad you are alive." He gave the woman a bear hug.

Dean held his hands up in protest. "Hey enough you are getting too cozy with Cas."

Sam laughed and let the angel go. "Dean has stakes on you now since you are in a woman." He watched his brother's face show annoyance.

"Very funny Sammy." Dean crossed his arms with a brooding frown.

"It's true bro. Remember what Cas said a while back. You two have a profound bond." Sam grinned.

Dean gave him a deadly glare. "Whatever." He grumbled. "No matter she is here and hopefully here to stay." He walked over to Cas and put arm around her shoulders. "At least for a while right?"

"Don't worry Dean. I am not going to vanish. I will always be here for you." Her blue eyes directed at the other guy. "You too Sam. I will have to go to heaven from time to time since its being restructured. Joshua is leading since he is the only sensible one and has some kind of contact with God. He is tending heaven as an infinite garden keeping all angels in line with some assistance of course."

Later that evening, Dean was taking a shower. Sam and Castiel were sitting in the kitchen. Sam could not help staring at Cas's new appearance. "It's still amazing that you are here. This time as a female. A pretty female Cas. Dean will definitely be protective over you. I know you have angelic strength but he will see you as a woman not an angel. Be prepared for him to say he does not want you to assist on our hunts."

Cas smiled sat back in the chair. "I am prepared and will have to make it clear to Dean that he can't control an angel. I am relieved he did not kill himself over what he did. I would have been upset if he done something drastic. I will never forget the look on his face when held my dying vessel. Sam I felt so much love coming from him during those moments it broke my heart. He will never admit to me and himself but he does have a heart."

Sam glanced at the door and turned his face giving Castiel a serious look "Hey Dean was acting pretty possessive with you earlier. Did something happen when you took him out of here earlier today?"

Cas blushed a little "Well um he was very happy to see me and even hugged me twice. I felt his pulse rise a few times and the only responses I can relate to that he see me as an attractive woman. Sam I don't know if he attracted to the vessel or me."

Sam nodded in understanding. "Cas my question to you is pretty simple. Are you attracted to him? I know you guys had moments there was something kind of there but I know my brother he would never consider liking a guy. Now you are in a female vessel things are different now."

Castiel face turned a shade redder. She inhaled and in one breath she answered. "Yes Sam I am. I have been for years and being in a male vessel kept me from telling him. I knew his preferences so I could not show deep feelings to him. Other angels knew and picked on me from time to time but I ignored them and stood by Dean's side whenever I could. Would he accept me know since I am in this vessel?"

Sam took a sip of his beer. "It's a possibility he will but give him some time. Let him come to you Cas. Actually I am glad it turned out this way. Dean needs someone that will accept him for who he really is. Will you be allowed to have a relationship with him if he makes his move?"

Cas nodded. "I have full permission to be with him in all aspects. I am still committed to serve heaven when needed but I was rewarded to stay on Earth if I chose to.

Sam smiled broadly. "That's wonderful Cas. Welcome back home buddy." He grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

Dean walked looking refreshed with his damp hair and wearing a t-shirt and jeans. "Hey what is going on here?" He scowled at his younger brother. The two people sitting at the table smiled at each other knowing it will be an interesting evening.

The brothers and the angel went out to the nearest diner to celebrate Castiel's return. Dean was chatty feeling lively and happy to see his friend again. He looked over at the woman across from him having a conversation with Sam. Dean got up to excuse himself to the bathroom.

"Dean is energetic! Castiel you did the best thing under the circumstances. The thought of having Dean as a demon was hard for me to accept. He practically became something we both normally hunt and kill. I thought for a second if he became monstrous I have to take my brother out." There were frown lines across Sam's face.

Castiel moved his glass of water to the left side of the table. "Well it did not come down to killing Dean. I would have been devastated like you. When Metatron told me he killed Dean you don't know how badly I wanted to destroy him right then and there. I was helpless do anything because that angel hid my grace and the other angels had no clue where it was." Cas lowered his head. "I did not have enough grace to bring him back to life. I felt like I failed Dean."

Sam signed with relief as he saw Dean exiting the bathroom. "You didn't Cas. Everything turned out the way it was supposed to be. We got him back now and it's all that matters. Are you disappointed you lost your old vessel?"

Castiel gave Sam a slight smile. "Not really but I have to get used to this vessel. There are parts moving around that I am not use to dealing with if you know what I mean." The angel looked down at her chest.

Sam bust out laughing. "I did not think of that. Thanks for telling me."

Dean sat back down. "What's funny guys?" He looked at Sam laughing face and Castiel's dubious expression. "Well what is it?"

It took a few seconds for Sam to get under control. Gasping his words a little he replied. "Cas was expressing how he was getting used to his female vessel. Especially about certain parts that jiggle."

Dean understood the meaning and grinned. "Well Cas, welcome to womanhood. I don't envy you one bit." He chuckled seeing the confused look on her face.

Castiel was about to open his mouth in reply until waitress appeared with three small plates with apple pie. "Here ya go sweeties. Enjoy." The full figure older woman with the beehive looking hair walked away.

Sam looked at pie in front of him. "I did not order this."

Castiel nodded in agreement. "I did not order anything."

Dean smiled. "Come on fellas live a little. This is a celebration of Cas's return." Cas pushed her plate away. Dean gave the angel a serious glare. "Listen you are going to eat every bit of that pie. Don't worry about your figure. You're never going to gain a pound angel lady." Dean emphasized angel lady to drive his joke home.

The woman with the long dark hair and cobalt blue eyes picked up the fork. She took a bite of the pie and nodded. "The pie is good thanks Dean."

Dean sat here and huffed in achievement. "Great."

Sam set his fork down and took a sip of his water. "I found a case for us regarding killings in Michigan. People are found with body parts missing. At first they thought it was a possible serial killer but there were animal teeth marks where people were torn to shreds. I thought it would be something we can check out."

"Good idea Sam. We can get our stuff ready to go tomorrow. Cas you out on this one." Dean pointed his fork at Castiel.

Castiel pushed his small plate away. "Dean I am not a helpless female. I am coming with you."

The green eyed man gave him determined stare. "I am not saying you are helpless Cas. You just got this new vessel so you may need some time to get used to….you know." Dean paused. "The new you. Cas 2.0"

Cas frowned and shook her head. "I am not staying at the bunker. Do you want me to demonstrate my abilities?" The next moment the brothers were standing outside of Dean's car.

"What the hell!" Dean growled. "Hey we did not pay for the meal you know."

Castiel smiled at the angry man. "I did and left her a good tip too. This was a point that I don't need to sit around. I can also say to you that you just returned to being human so perhaps you need time to get used to eating and sleeping again."

Dean opened his mouth to protest. He knew Cas was right. They both went through a rough ordeal and he can't show double standards on this situation. "Ok Cas, you got me there. We both need to be careful."

Dean heard Sam snickering. "Shut up Sam. As for you" he pointed at the angel. "You need to some new threads. If you want to go hunting with us, you can't dress like you are going to a tea party."

"Fair enough, where do you want to go?" The woman smooth down her sundress asked. Dean had a blank expression on his face.

Sam walked over and nudged Dean. "Drive around man and find a sign that displays women's clothing. Drop me off first. I really don't want to be trapped with you shopping queens."

Dean gave Sam a death stare. "Get in the car meathead." They headed back to the bunker.

A few hours later, Dean walked with Cas back to his car. Cas's new attire was pretty form fitting. Dean did not mind her wearing the sundress but it was not practical if they needed help with hunts. He could not keep his green eyes of her dark blue t-shirt, indigo jeans and black boots. Dean even bought her a small silver ring similar to his and a bracelet to make her look chic. He drove back to the bunker and was having a hard time keeping his eyes on the road. From time to time he glanced over at Castiel sitting in the car slightly nodding to the rock music playing through the speakers.

Dean parked the car inside the massive garage. He shut the garage door and turned to see Castiel picking up a shopping bag of her old clothes from his car. They walked inside toward the Men of Letters library. "Home sweet home." remarked Dean as he placed his keys on one of the tables. Castiel placed the shopping bag in one of the chairs and turned around to look at at Dean.

The man watched her approach him with a slight smile. Her dark hair billowed around her face like a silk wavy curtain. "Thank you for the clothing and jewelry." She patted Dean's arm.

Dean gently grabbed her small right wrist. He felt how soft her skin was and inhaled deeply. He was reacting to Cas's voice and the touch of her skin. "No problem." Dean gruffly said in a low tone.

Cas tilted her head not recognizing the tone in his voice. Looking up at him feeling concerned. "Are you alright Dean?"

Dean looked down at the pretty woman with the blue eyes. His breathing increased and his body temperature rose with emotion and longing. He could not help feeling this way and it's getting stronger around the angel. One lock of dark hair glided onto Cas's face. Dean moved his hand touching her cheek and smoothly tucked the hair back behind her ear. He saw her eyes widen in surprised to be touched like this. That's when Dean realized he wanted to kiss Cas really badly by staring at her soft full lips. "Cas." he said hoarsely.

Cas looked deep in Dean's green eyes and saw him bent his head slowly toward her face. Dean's mouth was so close can feel his breath on her right cheek. Instinctively, she moved her hand to grab Dean's rough ones. She felt him entwined his fingers with hers. Then she felt his lips touch her right cheek and moved over to her forehead. Cas stood completely still as she felt Dean's smooth mouth grazed her left cheek and hovered over her lips. Dean hesitated knowing the next action will change everything. He wanted a sign from Cas if it's what she wanted.

Cas stepped closer until her body pressed against Dean's. She murmured "Dean." softly. Cas moved her face upward and touched her lips to his. Dean's body jolted from the touch and instantly he moved his lips gently over hers. He tenderly kissed the pretty angel and then the kiss changed to a passionate one. Cas made a throaty sounds feeling Dean's tongue entering her mouth. She felt his strong arms encircle her waist. She moved her arms up until her hands were in his hair. She put in every pit up emotion she ever had for Dean in their kiss.

They were enthralled in their passionate kiss and did not notice Sam entering the room. He stood there stunned by the view. Sam Winchester turned around grinning as he made a quiet exit. _"It's about time."_ Thinking to himself as he walked back to his bedroom.


	2. Multiple Confessions

_I decided to write another chapter to the story but I am taking my time. This chapter was the result being stuck working as a back up receptionist at my job for almost 8 hours. Enjoy reading._

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Getting control of himself, Dean moved his lips slowly away from Cas's damp soft mouth. He looked down at her and saw the look of exhilaration and astonishment on her blue eyes.

"Wow." Dean muttered. The kiss felt like fireworks exploding inside him. Of all the women he had kissed, including the two relationships he had in the past, he never felt like this with anyone until now. His body was throbbing from what just occurred a moment ago. Needing some space to collect himself, he moved back a little. His right hand moved away from angel's waist and gently cup the side of her face. "Cas. I'm surprised as you are. I never expected this to happen. If we go any further I want us to take this slow if that's ok with you."

Cas looked up at Dean's ruggedly handsome face. Her lips were a little swollen from his kisses. She enjoyed the feel of Dean's warm hand cradling her cheek and the curve of her jaw. "It's fine with me Dean. This is a totally new experience for me as well... um being a female vessel this time around."

He gave her a piercing stare. "We definitely need to take this slow." Dean pulled her into his arms and gave her a fierce hug. He loved the feeling of her soft body against his and her unique scent was becoming overwhelming to his senses. Dean cleared his throat a little. "So angel lady, what are you going to do while we are sleeping?" He stepped away and motioned her to sit down on the library chair.

"Well, I thought about making a quick visit to heaven but it can wait until later." She looked at the man sitting across from the table.

They turned their heads as they heard quiet footsteps approaching the area. Sam looked carefully around the corner to see Dean and Cas sitting at one of the library tables. "Hey guys. I was wondering when you were coming back from your shopping spree." He walked over to Cas and took in the outfit she was wearing. "Cool. Cas is wearing jeans and a t-shirt. That's a big change." Sam's eyes widen when he saw the jewelry. He was trying to look serious instead he spewed out. "Aww... you guys got matching rings. That's so cute. It almost look like wedding bands."

Dean scowled at his brother. "It's not wedding bands Sammy. Cas told me that his vessel has a identical twin so we have to make sure we can identify Cas out in public. So, I got her some jewelry similar to mine."

Sam smirked knowing it's a lot more than the reason. "Ok bro. Next time get her some silver earrings too." He got an annoyed stare from his old brother as a response to his joke.

"Anyway, when are we heading out?" Dean changed the subject before he throttled his little brother.

"Well, I thought tomorrow afternoon would be ideal. Unless you two got any plans I don't know about." Sam said with sardonic humor.

Dean started to frown. "What the hell does that mean?" He wonder if Sam saw them kissing earlier.

Sam raised his hands in resignation. "Hey I am just saying. You two are turning into bosom buddies with shopping and all. I am just trying to give you some quality time together to catch up on...

Sam paused for a few seconds and then uttered, "Things." Raising his eyes in a suggestive expression to the both of them.

Dean rose from his chair and snarled. "Listen you assh-!."

Castiel cut him off. "Sam, thank you for the thought but we don't have any plans to do shopping or other things." with a stoic look in her blue eyes. "Right now preparing for the trip is primary so we can stop what is killing people in Michigan. Don't you agree Sam?" She stood up facing the brother's.

Dean opened his mouth to verbally blast out Cas for cutting him off but looking at the pretty angel giving him a soft stare made him close his mouth.

Sam saw Dean's reaction and smiled. _"So now Cas has Dean wrapped around her delicate pinky?"_ He thought to himself. "Sorry for riling you up bro. I was only trying to help. Anyway, I am getting some water then I am going to hit the bed. Good night everyone."

Cas stepped in front of the green eyed man. "You should get some sleep too Dean. I will be here in the morning. Don't worry about me. I will watch TV if it gets too boring."

Dean dipped his head down and kissed Cas on the left cheek. "Ok angel. I will see you in the morning. Dean walked toward the sleeping quarters. He looked back at Cas for a second and gave her a sweet smile.

Cas heard Dean walk through the doorway until she heard a door shut. She walked to the other side the room toward the kitchen. Sam was placing a pitcher of water back in the refrigerator. He turned to see Castiel standing in the kitchen by the table. "Hey Cas." He grabbed the tall glass of water. "What's up?"

"Sam I know you saw us so please give Dean a break." The woman looked serious.

Sam walked over to the angel. "Sorry Cas. I could not help picking on him. You know how many times Dean has made snide comments to make me the butt of his jokes. I was just getting back at him so no harm done." Sam took a sip of his drink. "I did see you guys lip locking. It surprised the crap out of me. So….How do you feel about it?"

Cas made a slight smile. "I did not expect uh...me and Dean to happen this soon but I guess we got caught up in with the moment. It was incredible Sam. I mean… I thought my grace was going to explode."

Sam chuckled. "Dean must have left a lasting impression on you. Your face is glowing Cas."

Her face blushed a rosy hue. "He certainly did. Dean told me that he wants to take this slow."

Sam bust out laughing. "Well you have no qualms admitting it." When his laughter waded, he walked over to Cas to pat her on the shoulder. Sam gave her a sincere gaze. "He is right to do so. Cas, you only been with one person and you were a male at the time. You being a female now is a different ball park. Dean knows this and will handle this situation with care. Not only you are close friends, he's afraid to mess this up so let him go at his pace."

Castiel's cheeks flushed at what her friend was telling him. Sam leaned over and said in a low tone. "If you get further you will not be disappointed. I heard women he was….. involved with bragged that he is very skilled in the bedroom. He will definitely turn you out." He chuckled when he saw the panic expression on Castiel's face.

Her eyes widen registering his words. "Sam please. I...I... am not ready for that kind of intimacy with Dean. I know Kathie has been in a few relationships that involved sex but I am not in the hurry to experience it for myself right now."

She looked nervous recalling one incident when he watched Dean and Lisa briefly. The angel popped in to check on Dean at the time he resurrected the soulless version of Sam. Castiel did not expect to see Dean and Lisa on the couch having full-fledged intimate relations when he appeared. Once he registered seeing Dean on top of the human named Lisa, Castiel quickly teleported out of the house with the image of the scene burned in his memory. Every inch of Dean's body was displayed before the angel watching his friend moving on top of the woman. The lovemaking expression on Dean's damp face was something Castiel will never forget.

Sam watched the angel woman appearing to be deep in thought. Suddenly Cas quickly shook her head like she was trying to forget something that boggled her. "Are you ok Cas?" Sam looked concerned.

She nodded her head. "I am fine just trying to forget something I should not have seen."

Sam gave her a speculative glance. He was curious but thought better to ask. There as one thing he did need to know. "I have one question Cas. Are you in love Dean?"

The women inhaled from hearing the unexpected question. Her blue eyes directed at Sam's in a meaningful expression. "Yes I am. I have been for a long time. What amazes me is that Dean had no clue that I feel this strongly for him. In spite the of jokes that some angels and others made about my feelings toward him, Dean never caught on or took it seriously. Everything I did was for him and he thought it was for either both of you, myself or for humanity's sake" Castiel got quiet for a second. Her eyes turned sincere and said softly. "It was all for him."

Sam held up one finger. "Cas you are majority right but he knew you felt something for him. He tried to see it as brotherhood or friendship especially when you picked him over your angel army. It really moved my brother. That situation settled all the moments of mistrust he had for you over the years. It would have been resolved sooner when you did not kill him over the angel tablet. When you disappeared afterwards Dean got really angry that you abandoned us. It's all mended now and I wonder what the future holds for us."

Castiel took in every word Sam said. "Thank you for telling me this. It gives me some closure. I know where I stand now regarding the things I did and I did what I could to redeem my friendship with you guys. I am a little worried Sam. I have no idea if Dean had deep feelings for me. I know he cares for me but I have no clue if he is or can fall in love with me."

Sam put an arm around Castiel. "Don't worry about Dean's heart. I know my brother has feelings for you by the way he has treated the old Cas and especially what you are now. Seeing him kissing you gives me the impression he cares for you and saying to take things slow." The tall man sighed. "He's never done that with any woman. Dean normally does not hold back with women sexually when the occasion rises."

Sam stopped and tilted his head with a thoughtful expression. "Cas oddly enough Dean has not been with a woman since we got rid of the Leviathans. That's over two years ago. It's not like him to go without sex that long. Those were the times the guy version of you were around us a lot. He even told me he turned down a couple of propositions from women. I knew then something was going on with him but I left it alone."

Castiel stood there looking stunned. Sam continued. "I am just as surprised as you are. I think deep down he feels something for you Cas. When you were a guy he could not bring himself to show it. Now you are a woman he may not be able to fight it anymore. Be patient and he will come around. Perhaps a lot sooner than you think."

Sam walked by Cas toward the doorway. "Cas if you need help sorting things out about Dean, I am rooting for you buddy so don't hesitate to ask. Ok?"

Castiel's swallowed with emotion. "Thanks Sam I always considered you as a brother. Thank you for everything."

"No problem. I'm turning in. See you in the morning." Sam walked away while Cas stood by the kitchen table thinking about their conversation.

After a while she walked to the living area and turned on the TV. She could not get into the program that was playing on the screen. Cas was in absorbed in her thoughts and retracted every memory of her interaction with Dean. She noticed on more than one particular situation she caught Dean stealth-fully staring at the old Cas. Slowly it dawned on Castiel that Dean did care a great deal when she was in a male vessel.

She rose from the chair and decided to zap in Dean's room. Even though the room was dark, Castiel can clearly see everything in there by sheer will. She made her presence unknown as she approached Dean's bed. The woman looked down to see Dean lightly snoring in slumber. She moved closer to visually take in every feature of his sleeping face. His hair was ruffled, his frown lines normally on his forehead was smooth down making his face look peaceful. His eye lashes were long and lay delicately on his masculine sculptured cheeks. Looking at his mouth, Cas remembered how soft his lips were. She moved her hand toward his face but did not risk touching him. The last thing she needed was to scare him awake to yell at her in anger. Reluctantly, she drew her hand back and looked at the rest of him. The blanket and sheets were low at his hips showing a peak of dark shorts he had on. Castiel had full view of his shoulders, arms, and chest. Her eyes kept moving down his stomach until she saw a thin line of short masculine hairs below his navel trailing down to his shorts that was covering leaving the rest of the trail to Cas's imagination. Her breath started quicken remembering what Sam said about Dean's bedroom skills. She closed her eyes for a minute to calm herself.

Castiel have seen Dean sleep countless times and each one took her breath away like it was the first time seeing his vulnerable face in slumber. She heard Dean mumble and shifted to lie on his stomach. His arms were upward curled around his pillow displaying his back down to a small of his waist. The angel took in every span of skin and the deep groove of his spine. Her hands were itching to touch that space there to feel how smooth it looked. Feeling a bit guilty gawking at Dean she zapped back where the TV was playing an old comedy show. Castel sat down pretending to be engrossed in the program while she really was counting down the hours when Dean will wake up.

The angel spent the rest of the night staring at the TV drowning in her own thoughts until she heard a bedroom door open. She sensed Dean walking toward the bathroom area.

After a while he walked into the living area noticing Castiel watching TV. She turned her face to smile at Dean. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

Dean ran his hand through his tousled hair. "Yeah I slept ok. Did you go check out heaven during the night?"

Castiel shook her head. "I did not feel like going so I stayed here instead."

"Oh. I wish angels can sleep. It must have been boring being up all night." Dean frowned with concern.

Cas smiled inwardly. "It was not entirely boring." Remembering part of the night watching him sleep for almost an hour.

Dean looked at the woman sitting there with a slight suspicion. She must have done something. "So... what happened that was not entirely boring." His eyes bore into her face waiting for a response.

She tried to repress her slight surprised at the unexpected question. Castiel tried to think real quick solution to deter the answer. "Um…. Sam and I had a talk before he went to bed." Cas sighed thinking she got herself out of Dean's questionnaire

He sat down next to her. Reaching for her left hand, Dean scanned her face with his green eyes. "What did you two talk about?"

Castiel did her best to keep stoic expression but inside she felt a bit of panic. Her idea of evading the answer about talking to Sam literally backfired with the man sitting next to her. She was desperately trying to think very fast how to answer the question without exposing everything she said to Sam. "It was nothing significant mostly just idle chatter and he told me good night."

Dean held Cas's hand firmly. "Even if it was insignificant I am still curious what you guy were talking about." He forced a small smile watching the wheels turn rapidly in her head. If Cas continued to be evasive to his questions he will have to ask Sam himself. He had a strong feeling the conversation was about him.

The angel did not want to lie to Dean. "We were talking about future events about how things are going to be with us and everything." She slightly bit her bottom lip hoping Dean will be satisfied with the vague answer. If he kept pressing her she will end up telling him everything and Dean might get angry talking to Sam about personal things regarding him. She knew how private he was about his feelings and relationships with women.

Dean sighed at the angel. He decided to drop it and mentally plan to talk to his brother later. "Ok Cas. I am going to get washed up so go ahead if you need to check on heaven for a bit. Sam and I will be getting ready to hit the road in the late afternoon." He lifted her hand to his face and kissed the center of Cas's palm. "I will see you in a while angel." He rose from the sofa. Standing over her Dean moved his right to smooth her hair down. .

Castiel sighed in relief watching him walk toward the sleeping quarters. She got away from the awkward situation this time around. Feeling the need to get out of here for a while the woman turned the TV off and zapped out of the room.

Feeling refreshed from his shower, Dean walked in the library to see Sam immersed in his laptop. "Hey. Did you get more information about the killings?" He sat down across from his younger brother."

"Yeah. There was another killing last night. A man that left a gym after working out. His wife called the police when he did not come home. This has to be nipped in the bud soon because the bodies are starting to stock up." Sam was reading the article on the screen.

"I agree. We need more information about what we are dealing with. Any idea's?" Dean turned on his laptop.

Sam nodded. "A few and I'm still researching what kind of creatures would do this." He looked up from his screen to Dean. "Where's Cas?"

Dean typed on the keyboard. "She making a pit stop in heaven. Cas will be back before we leave." Dean got quiet for a while checking his email. "Sam I heard you two had a conversation last night."

"Yeah, we talked before I went to bed." Sam looked up again at his brother.

"Would you mind tell me what you guys were talking about? Cas mentioned you two chatting when I asked her what she did all night and got kind of squirrelly with her answers." A frown appeared on Dean's face.

Sam sighed. "Perhaps she does not want you to know what we were talking about. Anyway, it was not important otherwise she would have told you herself."

"Right….. I don't believe that one bit. I want to know what you guys were talking about. I am not leaving this table until I get an answer." He gruffly said feeling annoyed.

Sam exhaled in frustration. "Alright Bro I'll tell you. We were talking about you. Ok?" Sam was trying to think of something to say that was not to damming to him and Cas.

Dean shut his laptop. "You saw us didn't you?" It wasn't really a question but a confirmation from Sam's snide jokes from yesterday.

Glancing at his older brother he nodded. "I saw you guys kissing and quietly walked away. I knew you would be embarrassed because Cas used to be a guy. I did not want to put you two in a awkward situation with me."

The green eyed guy closed his eyes and rubbed his face. "Damn!" Dean muttered. "So tell me what she said. I'm all ears."

Sam moved his laptop to the side. "Hey I don't want you to be mad at her and me. She was worried that you are only attracted to her vessel and not the angel."

Dean moved his hands from his face in startlement. "What? She said that? Sammy it's not true. I have liked Cas since-" Dean stopped his face turning a little red. His younger brother sat there waiting to hear the rest.

Dean blew out air out of his lungs and continued. "I liked him when he was old Cas" Seeing Sam's amazed expression. Dean sputtered. "It was confusing man. Here I am feeling something for an angel that supposedly has no gender inside a dude's body. It was unsettling but I like the essence of him. There were times it freaked me out. You know I am into women Sam. I don't go out in left field. The only manly parts I touch are my own and that's where it stands with me. More than once, I said to myself so what if I really care about this angel but it will only go as far as feeling like a brother or a friend to him. It was not easy Sammy but I am who I am."

Sam gave Dean a sympathetic look. "I understand man. Cas understands too. That's why the old Cas respected you by suppressing his feelings. Even doing that, he went all out making sure you got what you wanted regardless of the price he paid. He did it because he had deep feelings for you man."

Sam sat back and crossed his arms. "Now Cas is in a female body so things are developing between you two. How far are you willing to take this Dean? Is she going to a temporary lover which you see her for a while and tell her to leave or...will it be serious instead? It depends how you truly feel for her not just how good she is going to be in bed. Something to really think about."

Dean eyes widen hearing his brother's words. He felt a little flustered. "Sammy I don't know. What happened yesterday was not planned. It's hard to explain." Dean cleared his throat feeling a little nervous putting himself on the spot. "Cas being a woman made me feel alive and free to show her how much I care. Sam I know the sacrifices Cas made for me in the past right up to losing his old meatsuit. Did Cas tell you what I said?"

Sam nodded. "Yes she said you wanted to take things slow. That really surprised me knowing how you are with women. If things get heated up I either get a text from you or a sock on the doorknob of the hotel room. I know Cas is not someone you handle that way. Even though he had sex a couple of times when he was a guy he is not experienced in the sex department. The womanly version of Cas is practically a virgin. She did tell me her vessel has been with men in the past. You don't have to worry about you know..." Sam felt uncomfortable talking about the technicalities of deflowering a woman.

Dean feelings were mutual and quickly said. "I understand we don't have to go into details. I mean, if you asked me if I want to jump her bones I would answer absolutely. She's one hot looking woman but it's not the only reason I show affection for her. I will handle Cas with care. I know you are being a concerned brother to her but everything will be alright."

Sam moved the laptop in front of him once again. "I trust you will take care of Cas. I hope this is what you truly want. The last thing I want to see is both of you getting hurt. Especially Cas since this will be the first real relationship the angel ever had."

Sam's words hit home of how serious his involvement will be with Cas. "I hear you and I know what I want. I have for some time but either the problems at hand got in the way or I was afraid to cross that line when Cas was a guy." Dean rose from his chair. "I'm going to get a bite to eat. Keep searching to see if we can figure out what monster is killing people."


End file.
